http://www.nochucknorris.com/

That is just a precursor of what's ahead.

1. Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn, he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow.
2. Can you cut a diamond with a diamond? Yes. Can Chuck Norris cut a diamond with a diamond? Yes. Can a diamond cut Chuck Norris? No. Only Chuck Norris can cut Chuck Norris.
3. Water doesn't get Chuck Norris wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
4. Chuck Norris counted to infinity, TWICE!
5. If you spell Chuck Norris in SCRABBLE, you win FOREVER!
6. Normal people check their closet for the Boogeyman. The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
7. Chuck Norris uses a nightlight, not because he is afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
8. Chuck Norris discovered the "Virgin Islands." They are now more commonly known as, "The Islands."
9. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
11. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
12. Chuck Norris can sleep with his eyes open.

I was gonna post more, but I just got lazy and didn't feel like it, instead here's a link to the site:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/